Thursday, May 21, 2009

Girl Pride

What is it with girls always wanting to save face?

I mean, sometimes you can just so tell that they want you to talk to them, care about them, or help them with something they can't do. They even hint you to the MAX, and willing to try hinting a few times, but they
NEVER spell it out!

And when you ask them, "No, really, do you want me to 'so and so' for you?"

Note: 'so and so' - replace with any favour a girl asks you

While tilting their head to a side and eyes circling everywhere except where you stand.... They'll so skillfully say "Up to you lor..."

They might even add "it's not like I'm forcing you anyway..." which often sends you on a guilt trip if they haven't already have...

Then hor, that's not the end of it. Oh nooo, there's more torturing to be done...

When you finally decide to help them out, they launch into a full attack mode... "Oh, while you're at it, can you also 'so and so'? Don't tell me you can't do something so easy..."

And when you finished giving them the attention they want, given them the perfect advice to solve their issues, or finish doing them a big favour, they very rarely show you the appreciation you expect, if any!

"Oh, you shouldn't have helped me when you know you're so busy!"


"Oh, I didn't really used your idea in the end... I was just asking for a second opinion..."


"Don't make it sound like a big deal... I'm sure it's not that hard... common... get a grip!"

It's like, they make you feel as if you were the one who offered to help, as if they didn't need you at all anyway, making you feel like the biggest idiot in the world...

Disclaimer: Parts of this entry hv been exaggerated, with the intention to deliver the message across

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Starry Night

There are literally a billion stars in the clear night sky tonight... What are they? I was told that they could be anything from rocks to planets. Why do they shine? Why are they glittering at different intensities? I only know that I'm in awe gazing at them. This is among a few things in the world that never fail to give me a kinda indescribable feeling. Watching the sea waves washing up the shores and back, watching fire flickers during a bonfire on a silent night, or like tonight - a night sky lit up with a billion stars... It's like God's work of art. Watching it just makes you feel that much closer to heaven.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Favourite lines in office...

  1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit .
  2. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  3. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
  4. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  5. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  6. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
  7. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
  8. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
  9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  11. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
  12. Do I look like a people person?

Friday, May 8, 2009

Get Fined for RM 10,000 per pirated DVD !

I am sure some of you would have read in the newspapers recently (The Sun newspaper articles here and here) that Police and Domestic Trade & Consumer Affairs Ministry's enforcement division have started the operation to search and fine anyone who keep pirated disc (DVDs / Audio CDs) inside their car / home, especially through road blocks at all main road and expressways. If any pirated or burned disc found inside your car / home will be charged up to a maximum of RM10,000 per disc.

"Why not go after the pirated CD / DVD sellers?", you ask.

The newspaper article cites "...police have been carrying out raids on sellers of pirated discs but are unable to stem out the scourge..." and "...where there is demand there will be supply regardless of the number of raids..." - Oh, so they are ineffective in eradicating the source, so they come after the consumers? Why do we, the innocent public have to endure the consequences of the enforcement authorities' failure?

Yes, innocent, I say we are innocent for buying pirated CDs / DVDs. Why? Well, first of all, do you know how to tell if a CD / DVD is original or pirated? Can you tell 100% for sure? No. Exactly, we have never been educated in school or university on how to differentiate between genuine and pirated CDs / DVDs, so how can they expect us to know?

"Got the shiny hologram sticker or the double tiger chop then is real lor"

Are you sure? Hologram stickers can't be faked? Double tiger chop cannot be scanned and printed as duplicate?
How can we be sure it's authentic? Even if the very mere existence of a hologram sticker and double tiger chop can pass as original, that is just what's on the casing, how about the CD / DVD itself?

I really wonder, can the police even tell if the DVD / CD is original during inspection? Not sure about you, but I don't normally keep the casing of the CD's in my car, so no shiny hologram sticker or double tiger chop on the CD itself to prove it's genuine, how can one tell if it is 100% original?

If pirated CDs/ DVDs mean those that are sold at RM10 or less per piece and without shiny hologram sticker and double tiger chop, then I can still see a row of shops selling them in Sri Hartamas. These are not those ah bengs running around with a CD folder and pouch round the waist type, and not even temporary mahjong table set-up stalls, these are
shops in a concrete wall unit with signboards. What is so hard with raiding them everyday? In fact, police just need to stand outside their shop front everyday, surely that is easier than setting up road blocks or going to people's house?

Going into the public civilian's house is a serious intrusion of privacy. They will need to have legitimate search warrant - that goes without saying, but so what if they do? What if I am taking a shit? What if I am making love? What if my sister likes to parade around in the house naked? If they still insist to barge in, can my indoor-bare-all-parade-freak sister accuse the inspectors of indecent sexual harrassment + privacy intrusion? Obviously she has the right to do whatever she wants in her home. What if my sister is a Datin, and she keeps her DVDs in her security safe (along with her favourite dildo in it) in the house, and she doesn't feel comfortable opening it up for inspection?

Ok seriously, don't they have anything better to do than going to people's house to raid for pirated DVDs? Are there not more serious issues at hand that endanger the lives of our society? Has the crime rate gone down with the recent economy recession? No, in fact a kid was kidnapped in broad daylight a month ago by 16 crooks for a ransom of RM 1 mil. I still see a swarm of Mat Rempits in KL these days despite police's claims of stepping up the game. Mat Rempits are violent, a public nuisance, some even involved in robberies, snatch thefts and attacking innocent road users. Why not go after them instead?

Is the government encouraging us to buy legitimate DVDs?

Ok, let's be realistic here. Can a typical Malaysian afford to buy legitimate DVDs? I'm sure you've read about how tough a family man with typical RM 3,000 salary has to to survive in Malaysia (without DVDs)...

Nvm that, so, how much exactly is an original DVD?

Speedy Video says Jim Carrey's "Yes Man" is worth RM59.90, 7 times the price of a pirated, and probably 7 times slower in its release than a pirated. Does that even begin to sound attractive to you? How many among your friends actually go to Speedy Video to buy CDs / DVDs? How many shops are there in Malaysia that actually sells original CDs / DVDs?

What if I buy a few original CDs of songs, rip it as mp3s and store it on 1 normal CD to play in my car? Is that legal? If ripping is not legal, why does Windows Media Player has it as a standard feature for everyone to take advantage of? Why not go after Microsoft?

Perhaps the below suggestion will solve half of the problem...

P.S> But I heard my friend got his one stolen when the burglar broke into his car last month.... :(

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Pussy Water

HK: "so, do you use SK-II products?"

Michelle: "Eww, no way! they smell like... pussy water! I don't want to like put pussy water on my face!"

* half of the people paused to think, while another half was laughing hysterically *

CY: "really? does it smell that bad?"

D.Lo looks at CY: "you mean you smell pussy water before?"

D.Lo said to Michelle: "wait, you mean your pussy smells bad? WAIT, do all pussies smell bad?"

Halley: "Michelle, I think you need to see a new gynae..."

* awkwardness fills the air, while I tried damn hard not to laugh... *

Monday, May 4, 2009

Sunday, April 19, 2009

after a few drinks...

Was at one of my colleague, Mike's newly-done-up crib on Sat night with a bunch of other peers. This bunch was supposed to be the prim-and-proper, goody-goody-twoshoes types - well, except this one happening female colleague of mine, let's call her "Ms. Devil" =P Anyway, after much of Ms. Devil's pestering, Mike took out the Chivas & Vodka, and she was instantly everyone's favorite bartender. The crowd started to ease up and wind down, giggling away...

After a few drinks, Ms. Devil suddenly blasted happily "hey, you know what do people normally say right after sex?" Everyone was quiet for a while, thinking whether to even answer... lol... for obvious reasons... "Hmm, they are not drinking enough to fall for that...", I thought.

Little did i know, what Ms. Devil answered next was followed by the crowd's endless self-betrayed laughters -


"Tissue, tissue!"